Women, has your man recently expressed his desire to watch you have sex with another guy? Are you totally freaked out, thinking “My husband wants to share me? WTF?” Take a deep breath and keep reading. The fantasy of a man watching his wife with another man is a lot more common than most women realize. In fact, you should take it as a compliment! Only men who are completely secure in their relationship generally voice these desires (although trust me, even if your man isn’t SAYING it, he’s thinking it!)

Multiple reports and studies show that it’s actually quite common for men to fantasize about watching their partner have sex with other men. Some even relish in the “after sex” of the act. Experts suggest this stems from biological sperm competition and voyeurism. Some men even get off on the idea of having sex with their wives after another man ejaculates inside them.

If this describes your man, don’t panic. Rest assured that no, your man isn’t gay. And no he isn’t pushing you away or encouraging you to go out and cheat. The fact is, this is a very complex behavior that stems from many different feelings, fantasies, and biological factors. 

Let’s take a look at the logic behind this phenomenon. And who knows — with a better understanding of what drives your man’s desire, you might just find yourself open to the idea of getting down and dirty with another guy while your man watches. 

What is Cuckold? 

Men wanting to watch their partner with another man is referred to as a cuckold.

The Internet and porn sites are flooded with cuckold videos — but what does cuckold mean and how do you know if your man is one? By definition, a cuckold is a man who enjoys watching his wife with another man. Cuckolds encourage (and in some cases, arrange) for their women to have sex with other guys because it brings them sexual satisfaction and pleasure. 

There are two extremes when it comes to cuckolds. A masochistic cuckold enjoys being humiliated during the sexual encounter. His wife and lover demean, insult, and ridicule him while they have sex and he watches. The wife might say things like, “His cock is so much bigger than yours. Why can’t you fuck me like this? You’re such a pussy.” The lover might also join in with a few humiliating comments like this: “I know how to fuck your girl right. She loves my thick cock.”

Similar to a dominant-submissive relationship, this abuse is a turn-on for some guys. 

On the other end of the spectrum is the alpha cuckold. These men often initiate the idea and arrange for the entire scenario and set all boundaries for the happy wife. There is no humiliation involved. They will watch the encounter and might say things to their wife like this: “Take that big cock like a good girl. You love big dick, don’t you? Are you going to cum for him?”

Now, you’re probably still wondering why in the hell your man would not only encourage you to be unfaithful but get off on watching you in the act? There are countless theories and studies on what makes this entire scenario a huge turn-on. We’re genetically wired to be possessive over those we love. Sharing your partner sexually with someone else seems to be the ultimate betrayal of intimacy. 

But, there’s more to it than that. So, let’s explore a few reasons why some men secretly (or openly) express a desire to watch their wife with another man.

The Thrill of the Competition

Ah yes, the male ego — it’s a complex thing that manifests itself in ways we don’t always understand. Many men are naturally competitive. It all boils down to biology. After watching you have sex with another guy, your man is compelled to have better, longer sex. This desire may even result in a harder erection and ejaculation, which is good news for you! 

My Husband Wants to Share Me — Is It Taboo?

One thing that makes taboo sex so hot is that it’s naughty and unforbidden. When you tell a child not to touch something, what do they do? They touch it! The same goes for your husband wanting to see you with another man. It’s taboo, which is part of what makes wife sharing so thrilling. When a husband sees his wife with other men he feels directly involved in the dirty deed, bringing a whole other level of pleasure to the scenario. 

You Appear Like a Strong, Independent Woman

This is one of the more surprising reasons your man might want to watch you have sex with another guy. Some men actually find pleasure in seeing their wife’s increased confidence, independence, and assertiveness. Watching you command sex with another guy and explore your own sexuality is a huge turn-on for your partner. It also breaks from conventional norms, making it another taboo form of sex. 

Watching You Have Sex is the Best Kind of Porn

Are you one of those couples who have a mirror on the ceiling or videotape yourselves having sex so you can then watch it back together? There’s something hot about watching yourself in the act. For some guys, the only thing hotter than watching a tape of you two having sex is watching you do it first-hand. Your guy is used to being directly involved with the act of sex. When he watches as a third-party bystander, he can see you in all sexual glory. He has the rare opportunity to watch your body move in a different way. To watch your face as you orgasm and your naked body intertwined with another. If he’s really into it, he may even come in for a closer look as your studs cock enters your body. 

They Want to Keep You Sexually Satisfied

Despite how much hornier men seem than women, females actually have a higher sexual capacity. It’s no secret that women are blessed with the ability to have multiple orgasms. Some men simply can’t keep up with their wives’ sexual needs and desires. This happens for a variety of reasons from physical health conditions to lack of stamina. Instead of feeling bad about it, some men decide to offer their ladies the sexual satisfaction they deserve. In fact, watching their wives be sexually satisfied is all part of the appeal. It’s a selfless act on your man’s part (be thankful, ladies). By being present during the act, some men feel vicariously involved in pleasing their women. 

Having a Hot Wife Is, Well, Hot!

Face it, ladies, you’re hot — and your man knows it. He also knows that other men would give their right arm to get you in bed. What man wouldn’t get an ego boost from knowing other guys covet his wife? Knowing other men find you attractive is a huge turn-on for some guys. Knowing that, at the end of the day, you’re going home with him, is an even bigger turn-on! Your guy feels successful and powerful having you on his arm. It’s an even bigger confidence boost to let you sleep with another guy and then still want (or need) him to fuck you. 

Wife Sharing Makes Men Feel in Control

In some instances, men encourage their women to have sex with other men as a sign of their control over you. Now, some women might resent this idea but others find it just as hot as their husbands. This goes back to the whole concept of a dominant-submissive relationship. Men calling their wives “dirty whores” or “naughty sluts” in bed is a common form of dirty talk. What better way to take this to the next level than forcing (encouraging) you to fuck another guy for his sexual pleasure? 

If you’re in a happy relationship, having sex with another man might go against all of our morals. But for some husbands, watching their wives have sex with another man might actually save or strengthen their relationship. This dynamic can make your man feel more powerful, successful, and animalistic both in bed and in life. So, if you’re thinking, “My husband wants to share me — yikes!”, it’s time to shift your mind frame. Consider indulging your husband’s fantasy of wife sharing. You might unleash your own inhibitions and uncover hidden desires you didn’t know you had. 

April Sutphen